


kiss me once, then kiss me twice

by Cafelesbian



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Fix-It, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 17:11:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18627622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cafelesbian/pseuds/Cafelesbian
Summary: All Bucky and Steve have ever, ever needed is one another.





	kiss me once, then kiss me twice

**Author's Note:**

> the REAL endgame ending I rage-wrote this after seeing the movie lol obviously the time travel in this makes no sense but it made no sense in the movie either lmaooo
> 
> this is extremely self indulgent and only for my own closure and not at all complex but it made me feel a hell of a lot better so here it is for the consumption of anyone else who fuckin hated that Nonsense the r*ssos pulled

Bucky stumbles back to life panicking.

Which, he guesses, is appropriate, because that’s how he had died. Kind of died. Undied. He can’t think about this. There’s noise everywhere, darkness rolling in with intensity and fiercity to rival the apocalypse, which it might be. If that hadn’t happened already. If it’s happening again. Maybe this is some kind of purgatory, except it’s not, because he looks up and there’s Sam, swooping in, cutting through the pulsing chaos on wings like this is _not_ fucking absurd and terrifying.

Then he looks forward and sees him.

Steve, staring up and around, helmet pulled over his eyes, shield up. Fearless and selfless and fucking stupid and brave. And the same way he had when Bucky saw him on the bridge and Steve dragged him back from being a flickering, less-than human, Steve drags him back to clarity now.

Steve looks past him at first. Then his head snaps back. Even behind the helmet, Bucky sees his eyes go wide, incredulous. Disbelieving. Terrified hope.

People are charging forward. They stand still, breathing, watching each other for what feels like several clouded over years but what must be a half a second. Then Steve runs towards him, and he’s there, he’s holding Bucky’s face, tears pricking his eyes, whispering _Bucky, Bucky, oh god, oh my god, you’re here, oh, god, oh, Buck_.

Steve kisses him then, before Bucky has time to laugh or hug him or ask what the fuck is happening. It’s beautiful and it’s terrifying. He surges towards Bucky like he’s never needed anything so much in his life and kisses him in the middle of a fucking wasteland, and there is so much fierceness and so much love and such finality that when he breaks away, Bucky is scared that this might be the last time he ever kisses Steve.

“Be careful,” Steve says to him, voice breaking, “please, Buck.” And then, because Steve has no self-preservation and because he doesn’t realize that Bucky needs him more than the rest of the world, he’s running towards fucking Thanos, and Bucky doesn’t even have time to yell after him because he’s in the middle of a warzone.

***

They win.

They lose Tony, but they win. Steve finds him in the middle of the smouldering remains of whatever this had been before Thanos rode in and holds him until they collapse, on their knees, clinging to each other, kissing Bucky’s face, crying. Bucky cries too. He doesn’t know how long they’re there for; they get up when the last ship takes off, towards what’s presumably safety, and Steve doesn’t let go of him even then.

Over the next few days, Steve fills him in. It’s whispered under bed sheets, mostly, where he cries and Bucky cries and they lock their fingers together just for the sake of knowing they still can. It’s like the nights they’d had in Wakanda, roles switched; Bucky had told him about HYDRA over months and years of sobbing quietly in dark rooms while Steve held him, and now he does the same for Steve. They’ve never both been at peace,

Now, Bucky thinks, hopefully, stupidly, maybe they can be.

“I almost fucked it up, you know,” Steve tells him one night. “Getting the first stone.”

“Yeah,” Bucky says. He’s tracing metal fingers lightly over Steve’s chest. “You fought yourself, which is kind of a fantasy of mine to watch.”

Steve laughs. “Nope. I saw Rumlow, and I almost killed him instead.” At the name, Bucky’s blood goes cold. He pulls closer to Steve and Steve kisses his forehead.

“Would’ve been stupid, if you let everyone die defending my honor,” Bucky replies coyly. But when Steve rubs his back and pulls him in, he feels so loved and so whole.

***

After Tony’s funeral, Steve volunteers to put the stones back, because of course he does.

“I’ll be right back,” he promises Bucky. Bucky feels, with aching paranoia, like he’s wrong. It’s all he can think when Steve is getting ready to leave, when he hugs Bucky and says “Don’t do anything stupid till I get back.”

“How can I, when you’re taking all the stupid with you?” Bucky replies, but anxiety is making him lightheaded.

When Steve isn’t back in five seconds, the fear skyrockets, twisting a knife into his gut. He looks over, biting his lip, and then he sees it.

Steve. On a bench. Alone.

And then Bucky knows, with absolute, horrific certainty. _He left you. You weren’t enough, you have too much bullshit, you aren’t even a person, you’re a weapon, he knew that and he didn’t want to come back_ ––

He says to Sam, in an eerily still voice, to go see him, because he’s a coward and he’s selfish and he can’t. He stares with swimming vision at them, something tearing brutally through his soul.

Then, though, there’s another flash. Something is wrong now, other than everything, something that’s not just burning Bucky’s insides into a pile of half-lit matches. The Steve that had been on the bench is gone. Bucky and Sam and Bruce are all standing in different places; half standing– Bucky has been thrown to his knees, Sam is hanging onto a tree. Bruce gets himself up and starts pressing more buttons, frantic, muttering, “fuck, this isn’t right, this isn’t good” and the terror in Bucky’s chest morphs itself into something else entirely, something less horrifically selfish. Another hard swish of air, and then Bucky is staring at Steve, but again, not Steve, because this is fifteen year old Steve in oversized clothes and a wispy haircut and he’s staring at Bucky through baffled eyes. Bucky looks at Sam, who’s gaping.

“Banner!” Sam yells, and then teenage-Steve is gone, vanishing so fast Bucky thinks he imagined it.

And their positions change again, entirely different spots in the grove, just the three of them. Poor Bruce is almost in tears trying to get the machine to work. Sam has run back there and is hovering over him, frantically staring at the board, and then Bruce slams something–

And then Steve is back. Real Steve. Bucky’s Steve, present-day Steve, brushing off his uniform and smiling. “They’re all back,” Steve tells them, like he didn’t just give them separate heart attacks. He steps down, towards Bucky, smiles with the warmth that has fucking saved Bucky a hundred times over and is saving him now. Bucky stumbles towards him and hugs him, clings to him, holding onto him too tight, and Steve holds on back.

“Are you kidding me, Rogers?” Sam demands, but relief is thick in his voice. Steve pulls, hesitantly, away from Bucky, blinking. “You were––you were here, you were _old_ , you were going on about something, and then you were here and you were, like, tiny and scrawny––” Sam cuts himself off and then hugs Steve, who hugs him back, bewildered.

“Something went wrong,” Bruce says wearily, “machine’s busted. You sure you’re all good here, Rogers?”

Steve looks between them, almost amused. “It’s really me, guys.” Bucky’s heart rate has begun to slow back to normal. _He didn’t leave_.

“Okay,” Bruce says, closing his eyes. “Well, thank god. I’m done with this thing forever.” And he smacks it for good measure, the noise reverberating through the woods.

Bucky buries his face in Steve’s neck. “I thought you left,” he whispers, voice quivering. Steve tucks Bucky into his side, kissing his forehead.

“I’m literally never going to leave you, ever again, in my life,” he says simply. And tearfully, and joyfully, and with so much love that it takes his breath away, Bucky stands on tiptoes and kisses him.

They find their peace. They keep it, this time.

**Author's Note:**

> gonna use this to bump my [other fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15826482/chapters/36847347) _tell me how to breathe in and feel no hurt_ she is my pride and joy and labor of love feel free to read it lmao
> 
> come say hi to me on tumblr @cafelesbian lol this was extremely healing to write so i hope it was healing to read


End file.
